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I was going to title this “The Shadow Work Begins” But this year the Shadows have come early

Be Silent. To be silent. Ssshhhhh ….. I had written in a previous blog post (the sticky feet one) about this year’s shadow Work in the dark part of the year. This is what I wrote: "As the Wheel begins to turn to the dark part of the year I have tasked myself with 1) listening as a gift to myself as well as those around me, 2) no longer walking on eggshells, and 3) informalizing (more made up verbs!) my word choice to change my tone from seemingly haughty uninvested observer to engaged human."

 

For me Silence is many things. One is to be quiet. Another is to not use the spoken word as merely "speech", but to use song or sound in place of spoken language. Also to use movement in place of words. To use my breath instead. To be stingy with my words allowing only those most neccessary and useful to escape. To still the competing voices in my head to hear my inner Self. To still the rush of tongue to allow others to use their words enriching the both of us.

To follow the Shadows I’ve identified this year I will engage in a dance between quiet, thoughtful speech, sacred sound, and sacred movement.

 

When I do speak I will be thinking of this graphic:

 

Don’t be an arrogant jerk. Exactly.

I will however still be minus my social filters as I see little chance of acquiring them this late in the game.

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I have ~issues~ They look like this o_O

 I sometimes have difficulty with household tasks because I get distracted. It is similar to the way I tell a story and I run right and left and diagonal tossing off tangents. I start a task and while I’m deep in it I see the next task. Far be it from me to put it next on the list. No, no – let’s start it NOW!

 

As you can imagine I will have 4 things going on at once. I bounce from one to the other and often if I start too late in the day one or none of them gets completed if I have anything else to do except say … go to bed that night. Today I was going to finish unpacking from vacation. The hubster of course had unpacked and done all the laundry, folded and upstairs before sundown on Sunday. I … had a nap.

 

I unpacked some bags of this and that and was moving along just fine. I was going to completely unpack the plastic box from Witchcamp which I’d left mostly intact to take on vacation as it seemed silly to unpack and repack when it was travel sized bottles of stuff, extra bandaids, super glue, scissors – all those things that are needed but forgotten. (I may forget to pack underwear, but we will have instant ice packs and safety pins!) I needed to shift some items in the linen closet to put away those travel goodies. The linen closet is stuffed.

 

There are old sheet sets that needed to be gone since we replaced the mattresses on the twin beds. Oh look – the neutral musin bed skirt! That will go well on the guest bed. And shams to match! Out comes 2 pillows, shams, bed skirt and ah yes! New sheets. A nice dark brown blanket, and contrasting gold one at the foot. Yes, yes, looks good. But hey – these boxes on the floor need a space in the bedroom closet. ~stuffed~ Okay, I’ll shift this thing to the other closet, put the boxes away – oh damn, the bed needs to be moved to the right 6 inches so it doesn’t look off balance to the eye. Ah, and the bookcase. Wait – the desk should not be in the corner! Well, if I put this thing here in the blue room … oh, that table should be turned if I’m putting that in there. Ick, the floor is dusty. *dust dust*

 

So you see … *cough* ISSUES! 

 

I did manage to move all the furniture things a few inches here and there. It is much more reasonably placed now. The linen closet did get empty spaces that I promptly filled from unpacking the box. I wandered into the boy’s bathroom and saw the sink, mirror, and toilet needed to be cleaned. *scrub scrub* Then I knew the powder room needed the *scrub scrub*, too, but time was short so it just got a *scrub*.

 

I then realized I still needed to shop for snacks for coven and cook dinner. Off I went to the grocery store. I grabbed some additional things that I thought of and headed for the checkout. And that is where I got behind. There was a 20 minute delay. You see, I had no bank card, or credit card, and not enough cash. WTF! The bank card was still put away from vacation. The CC (along with my driver’s license) was on the end table in the family room where I left it 2 days ago. Damndamndamn! I called the hubster and when he was done laughing he came to the store and paid. By the time I arrived back home it was 6:15. My people come at 7:30.

 

issues. o_O

 

The suitcase with my clothes? Still packed. :p

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Eggshell Walking and Sticky Feet

We’ve done it and we’ve had it done around us. When someone is particularly prickly and either we are ill equipped to deal with it or simply not feeling up to dealing with it we "walk on eggshells". I was talking to The Daughter this morning about the upcoming vacation and her SO. I’ve been walking on eggshells* around him for years. It is exhausting. I’ve tired of it and I’m not going to do it anymore.

I have a tendency when doing the eggshell dance to be even more formal in my wording. I am formal enough as is. Sometimes I dance around my own prickliness in the same way. I think I learned to do this for good reasons way back when I was first dealing with YoungerBoy’s illnesses. The only way to be heard in the medical field by most of the folk I ran into was to "formal up" the language and remove the emotion.

This flowed into political debates online when others found it convenient to attack like a rabid dog at any sign of emotion. (This ties into male privilege and shaming of "female" characteristics and a whole host of other things best left to a different post.) Then this writing/speaking format leaked into most aspects of my everyday life.

In part of my recent spiritual work in listening to the core of Me and alternately trying to step outside of my own perspective to see me as other sometimes do is when I began to fully realize just how much of my communication has become exercises in "formaling up". (Yes, an invented phrase.)

This style of communication is part and parcel of my eggshell walking. If I remove my emotions from the scenario I am not vulnerable and I will be heard. Both parts of that have proven to be untrue in most situations. What a disappointment! But, what an eye opener to finally realize it.

As the Wheel begins to turn to the dark part of the year I have tasked myself with 1) listening as a gift to myself as well as those around me, 2) no longer walking on eggshells, and 3) informalizing (more made up verbs!) my word choice to change my tone from seemingly haughty uninvested observer to engaged human. 

Once again I am taking on Shadow Work that terrifies me. *gulp*

*What I said to the daughter is that even when walking on eggshells is habit and comfy for (assumed) self-preservation reasons it is exhausting and Not Useful. I told her it is really hard to stop doing it and to just let your feet get wet, but it is worth it. I also said that I was going to view our vacation as an opportunity to practice that. An opportunity for me to not walk on eggshells and allow myself to just be me while being mindful not to cause harm.

So. Here’s to wet sticky feet!

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Witchcamp – 2012 – Watersong

Brook and Watersong were the music path facilitators. Brook has had a couple of hit singles and is well known in the Reclaiming community. He’s been around for a long time and he is very centered and grounded. He loves to tell stories and use his experiences to demonstrate what has worked for him. He wants to be heard and he is and he is like a cute little puppy when he receives praise. (Which is truly an endearing thing to see.) He is brilliant on the acoustic guitar and can make it do things that it seems it should not be able to do. He has learned to drum fabulously and use the rhythm and music he makes to facilitate rituals in a mastered way. Brook is very obvious and upfront with showing his talents (as one would expect of someone who is accustomed to the stage) and it is all very natural and as much a part of him as his hands.

 

And then we have Watersong. Now, to get a feel for her do this: know that her name is Orion Watersong. Now, let that roll off of your tongue a few times. Lastly, close your eyes, roll her name off of your tongue one more time and allow the image to form in your mind of who she is that holds that name. Yup, that’s her.

 

She hangs back a bit, is more low key, but just oozes talent from every pore. To hear her clear sweet voice will have you fall in love instantly while the goosebumps chase up and down your arms. And she’ll have you believing that you can sound the same when you sing. She is subtle and powerful with a strength that shines through almost as clearly as her voice. She guards herself a bit, but hug her and the guard melts. Her talent is not limited to music. You should see how she paints. Plus she can paint on people! Squirming, talking, breathing people. The art she created on herself and on others was mindblowing. Below is a sample of her work. I admired a butterfly wing she had painted on one side of her face so she created this:

Wow.

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Witchcamp – 2012 – pathworking

 Ritual Music Priestessing was the official name of my path. Last offering of it was called soundscaping which is also accurate. I hadn’t paid much attention to the description of the path as I was not going to take it as was mentioned in my first witchcamp post. Ha! We did discuss theory, but it was mostly practice. And it was mostly voice practice. There was some drum instruction and there were ample opportunities to use the drums and other instruments. Knowing me as I do I opted out of using the drums for our rhythm assignments. I knew if I used the drums I would also use them to hide behind and not use my voice unless forced. (Knowing one’s flaws is useful. Knowing one’s tendency to take the easy way and battling that is a bit harder.)

We called elements with sounds. We called elements with movements that others added the sound for. We did the same for invoking Gods. We cast circles with sound. We talked about directing energy in ritual and how that was not our job. Musicians in ritual can help raise and lower the energy, but the focus is in following the energy where it is going as opposed to directing it. Truthfully energy in ritual should go where it will and attempting to take it from the group and thrust your will upon it to go where you (personally) want it go is not conducive to good group ritual. Yes, there are keepers and directors, those who help keep the shape and the container and help it to escalate. Different tasks those are than directing it. Especially for musicians. So that was fun and fascinating.

Sound being used as a hook, as emphasis for certain parts in ritual. Feeling the energy of the rite as it unfolds and using the hook appropriately and in a timely manner, not by specific preset timing. I did this with a simple egg shaker during the Pearl Pentacle trance ritual. Plus I got to greatly improve my technique or staying halfway down in trance without bobbing up and down. Saweet!

Drum beats for trance were gone over, when you want a steady beat the whole time people are down. Our two doing that beat during the Pearl trance were great. That steady beat for 45 minutes is not an easy thing. They worked the rhythm to help pull people up at the end of trance. They helped weave the energy for the spiral dance at the end. 

Soundscaping is all sounds – breaths and clicks and snaps and claps. Voice in songs, chants, and tone. Drums and and shakers and tambourines. We had homework and we created chants for one of them. I used mine for anchoring the musicians in the underworld for the Persephone ritual. But toning I used the most because it fit the energy that night. However, the chant was good and has already been borrowed to be used at an intensive in CA for a different underworld Goddess. I am fairly good with words so it stands to reason I would be good with chants, also.

The woman who is borrowing my chant along with Brook for their intensive was amusing when I said, "He (Brook) told us to write a chant, so I did." Her: "He told you to write a chant and you wrote this," she said with dismay. Me: [confused look] "It was homework." (Meaning so of course I did it. Sometimes I forget words are not so easy for everyone.) Her reply: "I want to work with you." I was so chuffed by that. *grin*

To come home so sick for 2 weeks and have such a hurting scratchy throat was very very hard because I want to use the skills I’ve learned. I want to keep them fresh and improve them. I cannot wait to get all my strength back!

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Witchcamp 2012 – arrival

"I see your desire, sticky and sweet,

Your eye shine, with Divinity."

 

Final song chant for last ritual in the story arc of Psyche and Eros. Created by Evelyn, a member of the Ritual Arc Team and a participant in the Ritual Music Priestessing path. This will be pertinent in a later post.

===================================

While it is true I have no previous camps to compare this one to I can tell you the experience was amazing for me and by accounts of others who have been to camp in the past (some who’ve attended for a decade) this year was a banner year all around.

This year’s Reclaiming Intensive by Spiralheart was held at Four Quarters Farm in Artemis, PA. The story arc was Psyche and Eros and you can find the story here. All five parts are worth reading. Because of the excellent directions sent to attendees I had no difficulty finding 4 Quarters. It is breathtakingly serene. Upon arrival I started lugging my bags down to the dorm and people greeted me with hearty hellos as if they already knew me. One woman did in fact know me. We have a mutual friend. She has known my friend since her college days and I have known her at this end of her life for nearing a decade. Having a singular semi-familiar face was a Blessing.

I had left home 3 hours later than planned, but was lucky enough to claim the last bottom bunk. As it turned out this was the smallest camp yet and the dorm did not fill. Some 10 or so cancellations occurred last minute, many from the storms that had ripped through W VA and left destruction behind. I feel for them not only for what the storms wreaked, but for the camp that they missed.

In the bunk across from me was a woman who introduced herself as Watersong. She asked if I had picked a path (there are a group of differing intensives to choose from and you pick one and attend 3 hours/day all week and gain skills, experience, etc., according to the focus) and I told her I was taking the Pearl Pentacle path. I mentioned that it had peaked my interest from the first and nothing thus far had swayed me to another. She asked if I had considered the music path to which I impolitely guffawed.

I mentioned that I couldn’t sing. She scoffed and said that everyone could sing they had just been told from forever that they could not and the music path was partially a way to break down those barriers and also to teach how one to use sound in ritual. I murmured something polite and she said, "You should listen to the path presentations tonight. You do not have to choose until tomorrow and if you stay with Pearl that’s great, but just listen to the other paths." I promised I would and continued to unpack and then *poof* it was time to start camp.

*time reels forward*

Path presentations begin. The facilitators were funny and engaging and I was still on the Pearl path best I could see. The music path got up to present and it was Brook and Watersong. I can only describe it like this: my heart immediately went to them. It was as if a hand reached into my chest and pulled it straight to them and I knew I was taking the music path. I was stunned. I told myself, "Drums! Yay!" and I also told myself to listen to the Pearl presenters because I may get the same reaction. I did not get the same reaction. There was no denying which path I was meant to take and the thought terrified me.

(An interesting side note here: Prior to the Bardic circle where the different paths were presented a number of us were tapped to do the purification of folk as they arrived for the circle. When asked how we should do it both Mir (my one semi-familiar face) and I immediately said, "Tone,’" in unison. Funny, innit? *loves syncronicity*)

But I took the music path in spite of the marrow deep fear. I was inspired, opened and transformed by the skill of the facilitators, the support of the other members, and the opportunities the camp organizers had allowed this year by purposely having the differing paths participate in the nightly rituals. The patience, compassion, and open desire shown by the facilitators to see each of us succeed was overwhelming. Camp organizers and the RATs (ritual arc team) and the Ops team members – all attendees choose a path for the week and everyone appeared thoroughly engaged.

The Advanced Ritual Energetics class had the most people and we got to see their work at nightly rituals and they were amazing. I was fascinated by the responses of people in my affinity group* to their path class. One of the great things about the CUUPs group I co-led for years was the variety of ritual expression employed due to our purposefully diverse focus. For those experiences I am ever grateful. To me the things they were doing were wonderful and not surprising – to them it was new territory – so it was one of many places where I realized I brought a wholly different perspective to camp than many of the others. It was enriching for me and I hope for others.

In subsequent posts I will describe some of the rituals and some things from music path and general camp dynamics. I have no idea how many posts there will be or the time frame of them. It has taken almost 2 weeks for this due to the awful summer flu I brought home with me. I just hope I haven’t lost too many details to the fevers. 

Did I mention camp was amazing? It was. *grin*

 

*Affinity groups were selected by lots and as it was everyone was in the ritual energetics path except me. The group met once per afternoon for about an hour and you could bitch, praise, or simply check-in and go on your way. We designed a singular ritual for our group only, but more on that in another post.

 

 

 

 

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Back from WitchCamp!

 The week was amazing in ways I couldn’t begin to describe, but being the wordy person that I am I will make a grand effort in the weeks to come to touch on parts of it. I am so happy I went! ~glow~

If I missed anything BIG that I should know or you wish me to know you can direct me to it or message me or whatnot. *bounce*

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Gone for a week

 Not that I’ve been posting much, but I have been trying to read. I’m off to WitchCamp tomorrow for a week long intensive. I am very excited dashed with a tad of nervousness. Psyche and Eros is the theme and I’m going to do the Pearl Pentacle pathworking. So — fun, transformative, woods!

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Covered in Light, September 21st, 2012, cover in solidarity

 (This is being shared around the web from Patheos Portal to Facebook. This is me boosting the signal and committing to covering on 09-21-12.)

Covered by Choice, Covered in Light
Description
Due to some very horrid experiences of two of our Sisters, we are planning the first annual Covered in Light International Day for raising awareness about women being discriminated against while veiled and supporting her right to veil if she chooses.

On this day, we are asking women to wear a covering of their choice to stand in solidarity and if they feel so inclined, to organize a parade/march in their local area to spread the word.

A Facebook page with all of the details will be coming soon is here. The Date is Friday Sept 21, 2012.

As part of the promotion, we are asking women to recreate in a photograph a famous painting of a covered woman to be shared on the events Facebook page to show the timeless beauty of veiled women.

Please start spreading the word!

The website.

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