Update on Mum, not reading most of lj and barely email – apologies

The cancer is back with my mum, in her spine per the MRI. Oncologist says very treatable and radiation will get rid of the pain (which is pretty horrendous from the expressions in my mum’s face), but since it cropped up once it will crop up again. He said she’ll still be here for the holidays, but not ten years from now. That’s a helluva spread, but I’m this much closer to this side of ten years and I’m guessing so is she.

Biopsy of the vertebrae on Tuesday with answers to what type of cancer in a few days after that. Asked for better pain management for her and so she has morphine. The confusion cleared up when her sodium went back up near normal. The pain made it hard to think, too, as does the morphine, but better from good drugs than bad pain.

Won’t be online much as you can imagine. I’ll try to check email daily, but between my mum and working more hours I’m a bit strapped. Plus figuring out after care when right now she cannot only walk a few steps and then only with full body support … fucked up all the way around. Her mind is clear enough to know exactly what is going on, too lucid for a nursing home which would kill her faster than the cancer so hopefully after radiation we can get her home care exactly how much she’ll need I have *no clue* or how expensive it is. LOOKS AT FIREFLY FOR HELP! But I told her we’d find a way for her to be at home if that is what she wants. She may be thinking she wants to be there so she can die there, but I haven’t the balls yet to ask that outright (still growing them I guess).

Found this out on Friday. Figured I should update my disappearance from the net. For all of those on my flist who may be suffering right now, too (didn’t read, so don’t know) I send you {{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}} for clarity, peace, and comfort.

15 comments on “Update on Mum, not reading most of lj and barely email – apologies

  1. Thanks for the hugs.
    I’ll send you some too


    and strength for your whole family!

  2. {{{{PJ}}}} I’ll send what ever I can… My thoughts are with you.

  3. {{{{PJ and Mum}}}}} Back into the worry box you both go. I’m here if you need me, call if you need to chat, vent, cry, etc.

  4. Holy shit woman!

    A glass of wine has your name on it if you can escape for a few hours.

    ::lights virtual candle::

    ::hugs you muchly!::

  5. (((((((((My PJ))))))))))

    Best wishes to you and your mum.

  6. Not much I can say but hang in there, and I’m sending comforting thoughts.

  7. You may be able to get homecare covered by insurance. Medicare is useless, though. That’s true in general, but particularly for homecare. Private insurance and Medicaid, on the other hand, tend to be quite good about it because it is *way* less expensive than a 24hr skilled nursing facility. So I’d start by contacting her insurer to see who they’ll pay and how much. They’ll probably give you contact info, but if not, then start with the Visiting Nurses Association in your area, and go from there. The VNA is the “biggie” of homecare, but there are probably other smaller agencies around, too. I’m not sure if Interim Healthcare is just a local thing here, but they might be a multistate agency. A lot of my clients use them, and are quite satisfied.

    Mostly, home health aides (which is what she would likely need, not a nurse) tend to visit at scheduled times. For example, to give showers for people who aren’t steady enough on their feet to do it themselves. If she needs someone there 24hrs, if she can’t even get to the bathroom on her own or something, that’s tougher.

    I hope some of that helps, and I hope the cancer responds to treatment quickly. {{{{{{PJVJ & PJVJ’s Mum}}}}}}

  8. {{{PJ}}} I’m so sorry, to hear that, hon. I can tell you that doc’s ideas of how long someone will last are hardly ever accurate. When they finally caught my mom’s cancer, they told her that she had about a year left. She lived for four more after that.

    I will keep you and your family in my thoughts. I really hope that things get better and that they can get your mom comfortable.


  9. I’m so sorry to hear you and your mother are confronted with this worry. I hope treatment is quickly effective. Blessings of strength and comfort to you both.

  10. {{{{{PJ and Mum}}}}}}

    I’m so so sorry to hear this! I’ll have a candle lit of you both.

    I’m so sorry PJ, I don’t know what else to say.

  11. {{{Pamela}}}

    So sorry to hear.

  12. I’m sorry. Good thoughts for you.

  13. Oh {{{{PJ & PJ’s Mom}}}} I’m so sorry – I just saw this as I was out of town – I’ll light a candle when I get home tonight. And my prayers will be with you.

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