Funny, I don’t remember that one moment when I got old.

Perhaps it was today. Today my middle child turned 21 years old. Yes, at midnight he went to drink (legally) and tonight he will go once again with his sister and his friends. Funny, I do remember that day he was born 21 years ago. Remember it almost as if … yes, here comes that “yesterday” cliche.

It was kick ass cold then as it is today. Ice on the bridges, and the only way to the Women’s Hospital in this city is via a bridge. I remember waiting as long as I could before leaving for the hospital because I’d learned with my first child, once you arrive, they keep you (damnit!) no matter how much you wish to be back home warm and painfree in your bed. No worries – I was still 2 hours from blastoff when I arrived there.

Funny, in the mirror is a woman with a face that has shifted, a bit downwards in fact, from the face of 21 years ago. More gray in the hair, yes, a couple of wrinkles, yes, but that is not where the most obvious changes are. There is a difference in the air around the face more than in the face. The years have colored the aura, tinting it with a bit of wisdom, a drop of sadness, a good dollop of wistfulness, some love swirls, but mainly a hue of realization that life goes on and someday life will go on without that face’s eyes seeing it.

The labor was “short”. Pity it wasn’t painless, too, but what fun would that be? I was certain before the doctor said it that the new child was a boy, if for no other reason than I already had mounds of girls clothes from the firstborn. So, I was even then – one boy, one girl, I’m done. Well, that would be another story. He was good-sized, healthy, and wailing as all wet, cold, newly blinded from light outside the womb babies will do.

Plopped into an incubator to warm up, all wrapped and tucked and sleeping quietly by that time while I stared at his peaceful presence and wondered what this one would be when grown. I caught a glimpse of a reflection of myself in the shiny glass wall of the incubator, me looking at him looking back at me. Who was that woman staring back? Something had changed, not so much in the features, but in the air around the face …..

21 comments on “Funny, I don’t remember that one moment when I got old.

  1. Congrats for living through it 😉

  2. Wow … time flies. doesn’t it? It is always a weird feeling when something like that feels like so long ago and just a moment ago at the same time.


  3. don’t worry
    i’m old at 26
    i know it
    i’m probably dying too

  4. psst! edit out name! /me fears google!!!

    i know
    i thought this was over
    but this afternoon i was just sitting down and started cramping and acheing and was wondering if ihad to cancel class
    and didnt even have energy to make ablutions to pray
    but dragged myself to anyway
    and then prayed
    and dragged myself up to class
    and wondered if anybody would notice
    but it got better

    mom said i looked very pale or flushed or peaked…one of those…
    we’re both very tired

    • {{{{{Lily}}}}}

      It sucks. It waxes and wanes and it sucks. My son and my husband both have GERD and my husband just found out he has a small haital hernia to boot. Explains probably the trouble breathing he has intermittently, but still …. sucks.

      I’ll go edit your name out now.

      • o dear!
        this sucks
        is it like, i mean if you have a breathing problem does it mean you can stop breathing and not get enough air and maybe die?

        half the time i think i’m either imagining things … or am a bonafide hypochondriac!

      • No, for him it feels like he can’t take a deep breath, but all the lung tests and breathing tests came back fine. He’s been on Prilosec for over a year and the endoscopy recently showed no damage so they did a barium swallow and that showed that he still refluxes, but the Prilosec protects him from damage and it showed the hiatal hernia.

      • so that’s sorta good then?

      • It is good. I get to tell him he is the reason our son is so sick! Bwahahahaha. Actually, he looked horrified when we went to the pulmonologist and said when we left, “I guess Kevin *is* all my fault” and looked all sad. Now for years I blamed him for Kevin teasingly, but now he’s taken all the fun out of it! So I told him “No, it was my mutant gene that made it so bad.” See what a good wife I am? (Kevin has multiple GI problems that he was born with. They are all controlled well with meds.)

      • So Kevin’s problems are hereditary?

        Ah well…I’m sure you’ll find something else to tease him about!

      • Maybe hereditary. Or at least the propensity for it. He was part of a sudy to see if GERD is hereditary. There conclusions were that yes, often it is.

        And I can always find *something* to tease people about!

      • haha!

        a paid study?
        or just a regular old no choice guinea pig?

      • Not a paid study. He was only in the intitial part, the blood draw part. At that point hubby was unaware of his reflux so they didn’t pursue Kev since they wanted to study families with GERD. But they wanted his blood for comparison purposes. Vampires they are!

      • Ooooo…you’ve met actual blood-sucking vampires!

      • Yes, they find haven in the medical field.

      • wow…i used to think only the other mentally exhausting parasites really existed

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