|Semele by John Duncan (1921)|
Imbolc is one of my favorite holidays. I have always been drawn to Brighid, and she was the first Goddess I pledged myself to in service. This holiday also marks the anniversary of my Reclaiming Initiation (January 30th marked two years), the anniversary of my decision to show myself that I mean business.
“Meaning business” has meant so many things over the past two years. It has shown up in decisions to unravel old patterns and leave old associations behind. It has show up in my courting joy and my desire to define my life outside of victimhood. It has show up in my writing and my loving and my return to slow, calm breathing when the going gets tough.
The past year has been especially challenging. I’ve been weaving the pleasant with the unpleasant and learning to live within both. I’m finding that, in accepting all of life (even the shittier, scarier parts) I’m actually living. In giving up trying to be better than, above it, perfect, I’m finding out who I really am, and that person is simultaneously surprising and generally a good egg. In letting the reins go I’ve found that the horse is better behaved than I could have ever dreamed and knows her way home.
So this year, I’m pledging to Brighid that I will be real, even when that is messy…that I will be myself, even when it’s humbling. This year, the focus in “I mean business” has shifted from the “business” to the “I”. Real people light the fires, real people tend the wells.