Today was a teaching day! I was the student! Today was learning the beginning of yet another trance skill. First there was much talking ~ and I mean MUCH as I puzzled out not so much what the hell has been changing in me, but what I want to do with my life/self/practices because of these changes. It was needed and wonderful and frustrating all at once. I am reluctant to give up some things and will see if I can find a way to integrate them in a different way or find another usefulness to them before I push them away completely. Time and growth will sort it out for me.
We did a one-on-one directed trance which was pretty amazing. I went down all the way, she stayed halfway up, so I could go a lot deeper than when we go down as two or more. It was hard at first to talk while down (this has happened before) because part of me wants to just be silent and experience, but — once I started I was fairly able to keep the level down, but the speaking ability coherent. It was a very good experience. The one person I met on the way was the same as another time and we I returned and passed him again she said, "You know that is you, right?" And I said, "Yes" even though no, I had thought it must have been her so there is that and I’m not really certain yet I believe it is me.
And next time *I* get to stay halfway up and she goes down – so w00t!
And this week I also got to attempt to explain the Black Heart of Innocence to a non-Pagan via text which was an interesting exercise. Luckily the woman I was explaining it to is very bright and possesses some understanding of grounding and centering, and she is practiced at meditation which made some of the vocabulary much easier because I didn’t have to try to find other words for what I wanted to say.
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