She was moved to “transitional care” on Tuesday. In about 12 hours time it was decided, I had to choose the site and the group of doctors to follow her as she uses her pulmologist as her PC and that is not allowed inside medical institutions. Um, thanks for the time to research.

Then she was moved and oops … someone forgot to call me. Fuckers.

One of her meds was supposed to be D/Ced, but the chart was sent without proper notes on it so now I am fighting to have it D/Ced and her not be on double the anti-seizure meds that she needs. This after I had to fight to have her arthritis meds put back up to normal. Gee, you take away the morphine, add radiation, PT and OT and can’t see why she needs the meds? Oh joy.

Leaving her at night in the thransitional care is so much worse than leaving the hospital. I’ve been crying. A lot. And I’m not a frequent crier.

Her back pain is still excruciating. We’re hoping she begins to get relief from the radiation soon. She is on pain meds, a pain patch, and Mobic for the arthritis and it doesn’t touch the pain. It hurts the least when is completely still and in bed. But, she has to be in a wheelchair and go bounce bounce bounce up the hill in the van to the radiation center, sit at least an hour afterward for the van to come back, then bounce bounce bounce back down the hill. Then to PT. It is so hard witnessing the pain, the discouragemnt, and other associated feelings since we went from “It looks like you’re one of the lucky ones, no more cancer for you!” to two weeks after – “Oops, cancer in your spine.”

I took her cat to visit her last night. She was very pleased. My mum, not the cat. This is a “do not pick me up” cat. Ever. I was determined though, so I asked my mum’s friend to meet me at my mum’s house because the cat always comes out for the friend. We conned the cat with a treat and I threw a towel over her and scooped and stuffed = 1 cat in carrier. All in all it was good for both of them.

Mum is funny talking about the “poor old people” at transitional care. How they look just like lumps, and how they pretend to do their PT, but as soon as the therapist turns away then stop and snooze. She doesn’t see herself in the same category as them. And you know – having seen some of these people, she is doing way better than they are.

So – less pain so she sees progress is our hope. And let’s face it, if the pain does not lessen after next week’s radiation, then it is a decent bet it is not working. But we can’t think of that just yet. I guess the one good thing – it doesn’t seem that the pain has gotten worse daily, so just maybe the radiation *is* working.

As for me – between work and hospital/whatever runs I’ve had a hard time getting my products put together for Spiritfest. My stock oils and herbs mixes were done, but creating the individual bottles and bags are more time consuming than I was anticipating simply becuase of the number I am doing. I’m used to a few at a time. Geez, 72 little dram vials, 40 1/2 ounce, and now the bags and herb bath blends need to be done.

And I’m exhausted – bone tired. This ordeal is so much worse than the brain tumor back in March. It is a combo of knowing she is not “one of the lucky ones”, and seeing her in this much pain. And part is the continued bullshit of my sibling, in particular my sister and her daughter. That would be a long vent post and I just do not have the time for that now as I have to finish organizing all the vendor info for Spiritfest, make a workshop schedule for same, trying to get some charm bags done, get my hair cut, clean the house, pay my mother’s bills, and visit her this evening. Ok, writing that out shows me why I am tired, but I work tomorrow so I need to get as much done today as possible. No rest for the weary.

Thanks in advance for any and all replies. I’ve barely been online the last month.